Write-in Candidate
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) "Press 1 for English" is immediately banned. English is the official language - speak it, or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, NO exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100%
import tax on them.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man
one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the
end of the 40-hour school week and the successful completion of a urinalysis test and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method. The first
time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim--gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat. The world needs
to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel
of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people
if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen
can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at
school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will
get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember
to write in my name on the ballot in November.
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!
Please forward this to everyone you know
no matter which side of the fence they're on.
